To See is to Believe

A philosophy teacher challenges a student of his faith in God...

Teacher: To see is to believe. Have you seen God?
Student: No sir, I haven't.
Teacher: Then there is no God!
Student: Sir, may I ask you something? Have you seen your brain?
Teacher: No.
Student (to whole class): My dear classmates, umuwi na lang tayo. Wala palang utak si Sir! [Let's just go home. Our teacher has no brain.]

Wag Salubungin

"Wag lang po nating salubungin ang mga bumababa, di po natin sila kamag-anak." - Konduktor ng MRT

Panuhot/Utot

Pari: Midako lagi imong tiyan, Sister!
Madre: Panuhot ni, padre!

(After 9 months nagkita silag balik. Si sister naay dala nga baby.)

Pari: Wow! Ka-cute sa imong UTOT, Sister!

The Husband's Compliment

A wife stands in front of the mirror and tells husband, "I'm ugly, my boobs are sagging, and my ass is too fat. Give me a compliment." To which the husband replied, "You are a very keen observant."

Kaang

Juan: Bay, kagabii nang-harana ko sa akong gipangulitawhan. Sweet kaayo siya, iya kong giitsahag bulak.
Pedro: Mao ba? Nindota gud, pero nganong nasamad man ka?
Juan: Giapil man niyag labay ang kaang!

A Caterpillar

Consider yourself a caterpillar. The ones who love you are the nourishing leaves. The ones who hurt you are the cocoon. Remember that you won't be a butterfly without nourishment and you won't develop wings without the cocoon. There are no heroes nor villains in life... Just people with different roles to teach you one great lesson - and that is to FLY.

Measures of Love

One of the greatest measures of love is its ability to let the other person grow with freedom and not with fear. Love should be able to give us enough space to be ourselves and explore our world yet still be within reach of caring and protective arms. Love should be happy when others succeed and make good in their ways. Love should be concerned not only with its own needs but that of others as well. When we learn to love without comparing and counting, then we have learned to love the way we should.

No Space

The dermatologist said, "I have good news for you!"
"Really?", the girl replied. "What is it?"
"You won't grow any more pimples. Because there's no more space."

Wisdom and Life

"You are wise if you know the limits of your wisdom. You are alive if the hopes of tomorrow mean more to you than yesterday's mistakes."